Sexuality in the Garden: Insects, Nature’s Pimps

Monday, August 15th, 2011

Nowadays, sex is easy to come by. A meal bought, a bottle of wine consumed and hot botanist later, you’ll find yourself blissfully falling asleep and satiated. (You can go here, here or here.) But for most plant life, sex is a bit trickier. Imagine being firmly rooted, seeing a potential mate, feeling the urge and not being able to reach out and say, “Hey, are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see!”.

Devastating, right?

Take for instance a simple Coconut Palm tree (Cocos nucifera), a tree that can grow on a beach, drop it’s fruit, ultimately getting swept away by the tides, and redeposited on another beach thousands of miles away. This coconut (not a botanical nut at all, but a fruit) can germinate and grow on a beach, so far from it’s species with only a washed up bottle of  rum, and the soft, distant melody of steel drums to keep it company.

With such a divide, it’s amazing how these trees pollinate and reproduce. Even self pollinators need some help (by wind, insects, etc.) with getting off, so to speak. However, Nature has that covered by introducing pollinators. Insects such as, honey bees, wasps, moths, flies and beetles – eat and mate within flowers, collecting pollen on their bodies, and transferring that pollen to other plants. Arguably, these pollinators act as the most successful Pimps, in the history of “Pimpdom“. Not only are the plants getting what they need – hot, nasty, throw-me-down pollination – but the insects are benefiting immensely as well. In the form of money – one might conclude. A safe place to hide in, eat from, and mate among is damn fine payment for a little exchange of plant jiz.

Although it may seem like the insect is doing all the “dirty” work, some flowers can aid the pimping process along, quite ingeniously. Take, for instance, the Yucca flaccida plant, which has evolved to attract the Tegeticula yuccasella moth. The yucca provides food for the moth’s larvae, and in exchange, the female moths pollinate. First gathering up to a dozen pollinia within the yucca flower and forming them into a golden mass with her prehensile palpi. When ready, she crawls into the flower and positions herself in such a way that her egg deposit into the flowers ovary wall (between the carpels). A single, slender egg is inserted into the flower’s ovule chamber. After laying, she takes the pollinia and draws them back and forth over the stigma, pressing pollen into the central stigmatic depression. This insures pollination of the flower in which she has deposited an egg. Germinating pollen grains send up to hundreds of sperm-bearing pollen tubes into the ovary, resulting in the fertilization of hundreds of ovules (immature seeds) inside, some of which provide food for the hungry moth larva. Sex had. Moth paid. Transaction completed.

In conclusion, in the words of the late, great Notorious B.I.G., “Pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it sure is fun!”.

 

A few of the BAPP’s crew have come together for a united post! For more fantastic plant/sex posts, check out – Derek‘s, Katie‘s and Rob‘s.

tub time…

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

This is strictly an unapologetic plug for my fabulous product line, Garden Apothecary. Rob (pitcher plant madness!) hooked me up and p i m p-ed my pic’s for the product line. Look how great they came out:

What do you think???

Strickly gratuitous

Friday, May 27th, 2011

 

Nothing pithy or dynamic to write about. Just some pictures of ridiculously gorgeous flowers growing in my garden… and a chicken or two.

another annie's annual primrose

 

love-in-a-mist (something, something-acea I forget)

 

snapdragon from above - look i'm god!

 

Introducing my new baby chickens!

nice ass, chick!

Rob, you proud of me?

Garden Apothecary

Friday, May 6th, 2011

Dirty Girl Clean has been renamed to Garden Apothecary.

Check out my new etsy site, too! I have four new scents that are fabulous, and available for sugar scrubs and water refreshers!

These are all hand-made in the wee hours between being dirty and sleep… Enjoy!

Another literary accomplishment…

Monday, March 14th, 2011

Yep.

Monday.

Just another day designing gardens, planting in the mud, and becoming even more famous yet again in this month’s People Style Watch magazine. Sometimes it’s hard being really, really famous – but most of the time I try to remember how my fame is used for good, and my literary accomplishments continue to mount (literary accomplishments being the three sentence interview they printed about me ranting about terrariums – the last sentence being misquoted and I’m pretty sure grammatically incorrect)(Needless to say, run to the newsstands!).

But as long as we are on the subject… here are a few of my favorite links for all things Terrarium. Including a short video of the latest addition to my botanical family.

Vessels -

anthro

candle holder = potential air plant hermitage

simple glass vial for moss keeping

 

What to grow -

air plants

another for good measure

pitcher plants

or of course, Rob

 

Etc. -

entire terrarium

moss

marimos video