fall equinox… talk dirty to me.

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Today is the Fall Equinox (9/23/2011), an Equinox occurs twice a year when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither away nor towards the Sun. In garden terms (given there are no natural disasters where you live), your garden looks good. Probably a bit tired from the Summer’s bloom, but still full and spotted with color from the remaining mild weather. Rain and cold haven’t put it to sleep quite yet, and you still have enough time to get those last Winter veggies in the ground before turkey day.

*I l o v e this time of year.

If this time of year was a man, I’d marry it. I find myself writing “Fall” over and over on my notebooks. My papers are doodled with, “Mrs. Jennifer Fall. Mrs. Jenn Fall. Mr. & Mrs. Fall.” Let’s just say if Fall was porn, I’d be subscribing to “Deciduous Studs xxx” and having a grand old time. Yep, me and Fall are getting pretty serious.

Botanically speaking, my garden is rather schizophrenic this month. On the Coast, we had a heat wave and frost in Feb, a cold summer, and the sun is just now warming up our sea-salt-soaked bones. My lavender plants have just been sheared back from their summer blooms, the annuals are filling out and flowering, but my roses, salvias and poppies are spent. Generally gazing over the whole garden, it doesn’t look bad, but not as full and flowering as was last year.

Ah well.

In my recent nursery trips, I was able to procure some fabulous black bearded iris, black calla lilies, black poppies and black pansies. As you may or may not have guessed, I’m really into planting black flowers right now. Maybe it’s my mood from the shorter days and the darkness descending, maybe it’s Halloween inspired, or maybe I just like black. Either way, it’s Fall and I’m primed for the season!

What are the Fall plans for your garden?

Sexuality in the Garden: Insects, Nature’s Pimps

Monday, August 15th, 2011

Nowadays, sex is easy to come by. A meal bought, a bottle of wine consumed and hot botanist later, you’ll find yourself blissfully falling asleep and satiated. (You can go here, here or here.) But for most plant life, sex is a bit trickier. Imagine being firmly rooted, seeing a potential mate, feeling the urge and not being able to reach out and say, “Hey, are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see!”.

Devastating, right?

Take for instance a simple Coconut Palm tree (Cocos nucifera), a tree that can grow on a beach, drop it’s fruit, ultimately getting swept away by the tides, and redeposited on another beach thousands of miles away. This coconut (not a botanical nut at all, but a fruit) can germinate and grow on a beach, so far from it’s species with only a washed up bottle of  rum, and the soft, distant melody of steel drums to keep it company.

With such a divide, it’s amazing how these trees pollinate and reproduce. Even self pollinators need some help (by wind, insects, etc.) with getting off, so to speak. However, Nature has that covered by introducing pollinators. Insects such as, honey bees, wasps, moths, flies and beetles – eat and mate within flowers, collecting pollen on their bodies, and transferring that pollen to other plants. Arguably, these pollinators act as the most successful Pimps, in the history of “Pimpdom“. Not only are the plants getting what they need – hot, nasty, throw-me-down pollination – but the insects are benefiting immensely as well. In the form of money – one might conclude. A safe place to hide in, eat from, and mate among is damn fine payment for a little exchange of plant jiz.

Although it may seem like the insect is doing all the “dirty” work, some flowers can aid the pimping process along, quite ingeniously. Take, for instance, the Yucca flaccida plant, which has evolved to attract the Tegeticula yuccasella moth. The yucca provides food for the moth’s larvae, and in exchange, the female moths pollinate. First gathering up to a dozen pollinia within the yucca flower and forming them into a golden mass with her prehensile palpi. When ready, she crawls into the flower and positions herself in such a way that her egg deposit into the flowers ovary wall (between the carpels). A single, slender egg is inserted into the flower’s ovule chamber. After laying, she takes the pollinia and draws them back and forth over the stigma, pressing pollen into the central stigmatic depression. This insures pollination of the flower in which she has deposited an egg. Germinating pollen grains send up to hundreds of sperm-bearing pollen tubes into the ovary, resulting in the fertilization of hundreds of ovules (immature seeds) inside, some of which provide food for the hungry moth larva. Sex had. Moth paid. Transaction completed.

In conclusion, in the words of the late, great Notorious B.I.G., “Pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it sure is fun!”.

 

A few of the BAPP’s crew have come together for a united post! For more fantastic plant/sex posts, check out – Derek‘s, Katie‘s and Rob‘s.

epithelial enlightenment.

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

This is a Pacific tree frog (Hyla regilla), with whom I made a brief encounter with whilst pulling a hose out of a hose pot in a client’s garden. I either disturbed him enough to want to jump out and attack my finger – or – he loved the nail polish and wanted a closer look. (Base coat – Essie: ‘Hi Maintenance’. Second coat – Deborah Lippmann: ‘Some Enchanted Evening‘. Top coat – Deborah Lippmann: ‘Addicted to Speed’. *Top coat is crucial to ensure optimum polish coverage for filthy gardeners.)

Once the hose came on, he quickly hopped off my hand and onto the closest wall. Tree frogs cling to surfaces with four toe pads on each hand. These pads are are sticky and allow them to grasp and hold onto surfaces through a hexagonal array of flat-topped epithelial cells, separated by mucus-filled channels. Under an atomic force microscope (a must own!), this `flat’ surface is highly structured at the nanoscale, consisting of a tightly packed array of columnar nanopillars. Each of these nanopillars has a central dimple that helps with the hold. The frog’s epithelium (toe skin) itself has an effective elastic modulus equivalent to silicon rubber, and allows them to stick but not get stuck on almost any surface.

Interesting, no?

 


CoCo Madness

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

The day started out as any other day, in any other garden, in any other town.

I put my shit kickers on (see below) before work, since I knew I’d be working at a house that has a lawn that looks like shit in desperate need of aerating. The boots are the perfect blend of cuteness/function, as they inevitably sink into the grass. When I walked through my garden, to get to my truck, to get to said shitty lawn – I stopped short, noticing the fabulous Chocolate Cosmos in full bloom. I love Chocolate Cosmos, not just because they grow easily and make for interesting color in the garden – but because they truly smell like chocolate! Any thing that has no calories but gives you the same satisfaction as eating a pint of chocolate gelado – is huge in my book.

Above – previously noted shit kickers.

After work, the day ended on a bit of a somber note. I couldn’t get the thought of chocolate chip cookies out of my head, since smelling those cosmos earlier in the morning – so I thought it prudent to make a batch of cookies. As you can see, I was impatient and didn’t let the butter do it’s buttery-thing properly, so they were ruined. I walked away disillusioned, crest-fallen and a little resentful of the cosmos.

Chocolate cosmos planter BEWARE!